Coming out of the Dark

Posted on by Miriam

I used to be scared of the dark. Growing up I often had nightmares of snakes underneath my bed, of being locked out of the house and left at the mercy of monsters in the darkness.

Thankfully these days I have my own set of keys and the only snakes I’ve seen lately were behind a glass enclosure. 

Snake at Little Desert Nature Park (800x600)
Safely behind glass in Alice Springs …
The dark still has a bit of a hold on me, I’ll be honest. I’ve had many dark moments in the last few years, stresses and anxieties and bouts of self doubt, fear and insecurity that often rear their ugly head. We all have them.

Oh yes, those monsters come in many different forms.

However, they can also become our allies, if we learn to accept them for what they are, opportunities to grow and push out of our comfort zone.

Fire and my legs at Lake Hart (800x600)
Contemplating what lies ahead at Lake Hart … sometimes we can look too far ahead … this was the third night of our big trip.

Lately though, I feel like things are finally illuminating.

It’s getting clearer as I focus on what I love. It’s taken some time but finally I’ve worked out what I want and where my passions and  dreams lie.

It’s like I’ve needed this time before I could find my way to where I am now.

Perhaps we can only appreciate the light after a period of darkness.

Me lying in the dark (800x600)
With time to just ‘be’ we can get back in touch with ourselves.
I’d become lost in overthinking and worrying, analysing everything, questioning, waiting for the right time to start things, when really there is no right time.

The only time is now.  The more I meditate this month, as part of Wendy’s 90 day Change a Habit Challenge at Brilliance Within the clearer it’s all becoming.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to jump right in, even if it feels big and daunting.

Uluru in darkness (800x600)
Daylight breaks over the awe inspiring Ayers Rock and the Olgas
So that’s what I’m doing now. I’m throwing myself into an online marketing training course which I’ll be juggling with family life, my freelance article writing, making music and blogging.

The dark no longer feels quite so scary, in fact it feels exciting. There’s so much that lies ahead.

Field of Light (800x600)
The illumination of the Field of Lights at Uluru.
If you’ve lost your way a little, perhaps you could try to:

  1. Write out what you love – call it your love list.
  2. Loosen up – dance, Zumba, walk the dog, anything to get the endorphins flowing.
  3. Meditate, start a Gratitude Journal and write down what you’re grateful for.
  4. Embrace nature. We’ve just returned from a weekend camping by the river but anywhere will do, a park, your backyard, anywhere you can look up.
  5. Release your inner child, laugh, lie on the grass, pick daisies, watch clouds …
  6. Be spontaneous and try something you’ve never done or travel a different way to work, anything to shake out of ‘the usual”.
  7. Look out for those signs that show you’re on the right track and don’t isolate yourself – call a friend, a neighbour, email a blogger friend.
  8. Get rid of these limiting words … no more ‘can’t’, ‘won’t’ or ‘shouldn’t’. Be fearless, even if you have to fake it to start with.
  9. Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t have.
  10. Accept where you are right now and be kind to yourself..

snoopy darkness meme

It doesn’t matter how much darkness we’ve been through, there’s always light ahead, always. 

Everything works in cycles and seasons and in everything there is a reason.

Believe it, I do, and DREAM BIG.

Dark waters (800x600)

Wishing you peace and a light heart as we continue the journey.

Have a wonderful week ahead.

Sharing for Frank’s Tuesday Photo Challenge: Dark

123 thoughts on “Coming out of the Dark”

  3. Sometimes we think we are lost but really we are cocooning for the next phase of life to come.
    I appreciate the way you make it a priority to connect with nature to renew. That is a great reminder for me to get outside each day.
    Go big Miriam. You can do anything with the love you have in your great big heart and action steps build from your dreams. I can’t wait to hear what you do next.

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    1. I love that idea of cocooning Ali, such a great way of appreciating the lull and waiting that’s sometimes needed before we take action. Thank you for your beautiful comment and well wishes. 💕

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  9. I recently wrote myself a “Joy List” I posted on my blog and I placed it in my planner to always look at it when I am having a long day and I can choose from there what I can do to make me feel better. My favorite part of the “Joy List” is I can pile them on and on to my day.

    Recently through this list, I learned there are things in my life I need to shed off — like spending too much time after hours in the office or too much time in traffic– because they have prevented me from pursuing my joys in life. Before I use to say things to myself like “I need to take less exercise classes because I need to do more work in the office”, now I tell myself “I don’t need to stay in my office more than I need to. I’ve already put in 8 hours in the office, I deserve 1 hour of exercise.”

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    1. Good for you Julie. I just read your joy list and I resonated with a lot of it. It sounds as though you know where your priorities lie, which is great. Thanks for reading and for your comment. 🙂

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  15. Miriam, I wouldn’t have believed it, you always appear so light and happy and I guess we can be even with the fear of the dark. Contrasts highlights each side. Reading your post this morning I was taken aback by hearing my own sentences from the beginning of your story.

    I too have some coping mechanisms but will incorporate some of yours.
    How true that the monsters come in different forms; so also do our light and joy.
    Your wonderful picture are joys – each one of them. They also give me a lift every time you post.

    Without dark there is no light it is said.
    Bless
    miriam

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    1. Your comment made me smile Miriam, I’m definitely not always all light and happy. I think we all have these contrasts, some days they’re more pronounced than others. So true that without dark there would be no light. It makes everything worthwhile but I’m in a good place right now. I hope you are too. Have a happy week. xo

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  16. Pingback: Tuesday Photo Challenge – Round Up 74 – Dutch goes the Photo!

  24. I’m still afraid of the dark. And the monsters (literal and figurative)…

    Your list is full of great advice. Not sure I’m able to do any of those things. I may be too far gone. I know… my attitude is the first thing to overcome. Maybe by figuring out what I want… what my goals are. But I’m not sure how to do that… I have no idea what I want (realistic things, anyway… I can fantasize plenty)…

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    1. Keep fantasising Sandra, that’s a good start. And think about what you love. You’re a great writer and poet and I’ve seen your drawings, they’re terrific. It takes time to figure it all out, trust me I know, and I still don’t really know where I’m heading. All I do know is I can’t stand still anymore. Don’t give up. x

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  25. I’m glad you’re taking the plunge with the on-line marketing course! I honestly believe you will be successful at whatever you try, and you’re right: there is no magically right time to take a risk and try something new.
    As for the dark, I’ve never really been afraid of it, probably because I can see pretty well in the dark. But I have my share of the “dark moments of the soul” when my fears and “what ifs” and regrets can get the best of me. And I love your list of ways to move beyond them…they do work! The best cure for fear is to just get out there and live our life. Moving forward is a positive thing all by itself, and soon my outlook is so much better!
    Excellent post, Miriam!!!

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    1. Thanks so much Ann, I’m so excited about the course. You’re right, the best cure for fear and uncertainty is just to get out there and take that leap. That’s what I’m doing now and it feels exhilarating. Have a wonderful week. x

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  26. Gita: 2: 62, 63: “While contemplating the objects of senses (People, money, power, etc.) a person develops (excessive) attachment for them, and from such attachment selfish desire develops, and from it arises anger (perhaps out of frustration). From anger arises delusion (grandiosity, paranoia), and from delusion bewilderment of memory (cognitive functions deteriorate). When memory is bewildered, intelligence (wisdom) is lost (we begin to make stupid mistakes). When this happens, one falls into degradation (one becomes totally stressed-out).”

    This will help you

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  27. Ok first up there are spirits coming out of those flames…can you see them? At first I thought it was one face but then I enlarged the pic on my laptop and I saw many. I would say these are your guardians, angels and guides…they are there just waiting for you to call upon them to help you along your journey. I love your list…it’s fabulous!! That red/burgundy color photo of the snake is alluring…I really love the shade of color it is…it’s mysterious that’s what it is. I’m so happy you are immersing yourself in all of these wonderful avenues…wishing you great luck with your online course…how exciting!! Yes our zodiac cycle is about to start a new year…let’s call this our year of being fearless!!! I love that on so many levels. Big fearless hugs my lovely lady xo 🙂
    Oh and btw did you sleep on that pallet or just rest for a while and stare at the stars…it’s seems rather unforgiving…ouch. 😉

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    1. Your words gave me major goosebumps Deb. Why hadn’t I seen them before? I just looked again and there they were, you’re right, I can see them. Maybe I haven’t been paying close enough attention, although I have to say that salt lake that we camped at and where the fire is was probably the most spiritual place I’ve ever been to. I need to find that feeling again, it was surreal.
      Now, our zodiac cycle, isn’t it exciting. I love your idea of a year of being fearless, I absolutely do. 52 and fearless, ooh I feel a post coning on. 🙂As for that bench/pallet, it was great for star gazing but that was it. I slept inside in comfort thank you. I’m not that fearless, haha. 😊 Big hugs dear friend xo

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      1. I’m like the kid who sees dead people, I see faces…everywhere! 😊
        Yes we should make that our intention with the next New Moon which is tomorrow!!
        Glad to hear you didn’t sleep on that, I was thinking wow she’s quite hearty!! Lol
        Wishing you a wonderful evening and peaceful sleep. Big fearless hugs xo 🌻

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        1. Thanks Deb, sounds like we might be doing a bit of howling tomorrow, hehe, or at the very least some manifesting. Love it!
          Have a great Tuesday. I’m going to send you an email later, hopefully. Big hugs and love xo 💕

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  28. Oh yay, Miriam!! I love this. Sending you much encouragement and support for your marketing course, and for focusing and doing what you love. I see so much talent in you, do you know that? ❤ My heart is opened by your presence. And I love your Snoopy quotes / photos. 🙂 🙂 🙂
    Have a blessed week, and let me know how it goes if and whenever you'd like to. My email (which I think you have) is weloveyou@forgivingconnects.com. Great post and sharing. Blessings!!! Love, Debbie

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    1. Thank you so much Debbie. You know I only thought of it afterwards that I could have contributed this to your Forgiving Fridays. I know how much you love Snoopy too. 🙂Hugs and love to you 💕

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      1. Aww Miriam thank you!! You can always contribute something for Forgiving Fridays ❤ It doesn't have to be Friday. So feel free if your heart speaks to you. Love and blessings, my friend Miriam, And I love your Facebook page. Debbie

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        1. Thanks Debbie, that’s awesome. And thanks for your support on my FB page too. It took me a while to do it … somehow it seemed a bit daunting but I’m glad I’ve done it. How’s your week been and your big move? xo

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        2. I moved! I’m now going to Spain and Portugal tomorrow with my spiritual group for 2/3 weeks. Need to go to sleep – I’ll get about 4:30 hours. So excited. (Just posted about it all)

          Miriam, love to you! Blessings for a gorgeous few weeks….. Love, Debbie ps – may Snoopy go with you every step of the way 🙂

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        3. Oh, that line about Snoopy made me smile! 😊 Enjoy Spain Debbie, my sister is there for the next three weeks doing the Camino Walk. Hugs and warmest wishes to you and I’ll have to go visit your blog soon. xo

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  31. I also was afraid of the dark until earlier this year. I had a lucid dream of someone in the closet grabbing my feet – instead I decided to turn on the light and see who it was trying to scare me. And we both laughed. It’s all in our mind. 🦋. Good for you for coming out of the dark and believing in yourself. Enjoy yourself. 🌻🌸

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  33. Miriam, there is dark and there is black total all-consuming darkness…the latter is frightening, like an unforgiving stonewall…though with just a glint of light its hold is broken. A beautiful journey traversing your inner thoughts and emotions…you sound upbeat with your new course and you have so much on the go and plans forward. Inspiring post, Miriam and I’ve read the list a few times and will print it out. All can…do…will from here on! I’m off to book piano lessons at the weekend (I know, at last but very excited!!) Have a lovely weekend filled with light and joy in your heart. ❤️❤️

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    1. You said it so eloquently Annika (as usual). So true, that all-consuming darkness is not a good place to be. Fortunately I’ve moved from there. Thank you for your kind words. Enjoy your piano lessons, how exciting, and have a wonderful weekend. Big hugs ❤️

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  35. I’ve never been afraid of the literal dark apart from as a kid. As a nocturnal and night person, I love night as it sets outside and lying in bed in the darkness of my room at night, in the peace and quiet.

    Glad to hear that things are picking up for you, and I hope they continue to do so. Life has its challenges and some moments are more challenging than others. Sometime we get lost because we stretch ourselves too thin, or perhaps we’re stuck doing something we no longer like or no longer serves us a purpose. I like the point of focus on what you have – appreciate what we have, make the most of it 🙂

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    1. Thanks Mabel for your thoughts and kind wishes. Glad to hear you’re someone that feels comfortable and at peace in the dark. I must admit things are looking up for me lately and most of that is, I think, due to my mindset shift. It’s amazing how looking at things from a different perspective can make all the difference. And yes, gratitude is a big part of it. Enjoy your Sunday. 🙂

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  36. My fear of the dark came from listening to the eerie music coming thru my father’s door while he was watching One Step Beyond, or when they’d allow us to watch The Twilight Zone, The Crawling Eye, The Monkey’s Paw, etc. In those days these films were as scary as they come. I was also scared of the Bogey Man, and the shadows that seemed to creep around my bedroom walls or on the back of my bedroom door.

    Then one day I decided to break it all down. What were these shadows really? How scary were those movies? And who the heck was the Bogey Man anyway? Once I became disenchanted with these sounds and images, I was able to give my fear of the darkness a break. Goodbye!

    I also realized that nothing that happens in the dark can’t also happen in the light, especially in today’s world. It’s healthier to have a bit of fear. Otherwise, you might just stop noticing what’s right in front of your eyes. There are dangers, and stepping in dog poop is more than possible (freaky for me still today), but for the most part even in the dead of night, once you adjust your eyes there is still some light!

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    1. Your comment brought back so many memories from my own childhood Jen. They definitely knew how to make a scary movie back then. But you’re right, as we get older and start breaking it all down, we’re left with the realisation hat in the dark is no more frightening than anything in the light. A bit of fear is healthy I think, especially if it drives us forward. Thanks for your thoughts here. 💕

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    2. Oh gosh Jen – I’m still rubbish at watching scary movies – because of the music! When that scary music starts I have to go and make a cup of tea! For me it started with Doctor Who and the Daleks in the 1960’s – I remember hiding behind the settee! Great memories – thank you! x

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      1. Hopefully Wendy…we have replaced our sensory anchors with less scary ones. If you need a test Dr. Who is still on tele. I’ll try to sleep 😴 without my bedroom being lit up like Luna Park. 🙂

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        1. My dad used to work for the BBC and I remember going to an old church that the BBC used to use for some of the filming in Manchester and inside was one of the old Daleks.. not quite so terrifying in real life thank goodness! xx

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  37. Wow! Thanks so much for the link Miri!!! What a fabulously inspiring post – full of optimism, light and brilliant tips. I’m definitely going to go through the list again and make sure I incorporate them into my week Miri. I am absolutely inspired by your sense of optimism and it shines out that you’ve started to find yourself and acknowledging your true value to the world!!

    I still have moments of claustrophobia lingering from childhood… my 2 older sisters used to trap me in the bed covers to see me squirm.. do you remember before duvets – my mum would tuck the sheets and blankets in very tightly – it’s become a joke with Bryan as he knows I hate that feeling of being restricted and so obviously he has to hold me that little bit too tight and laugh as I fight my way to freedom like a snarling trapped tiger!! haha!!

    The funny thing is that having just written about my slight remaining claustrophobia, I realise that it also spills into my life in general – I hate being tied down to a fixed time and woe betide anybody who tries to tell me I can’t do something! Yes I’ve never realised that I’m spiritually claustrophobic too – how funny!

    Hope you’ve had a great weekend? xxx

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    1. Aw, thanks so much Wendy for you very kind words. You know how much you inspire me too so your lovely comment means a lot.
      As for reading about how you were tucked up tightly in bed, gosh it reminded me of my own childhood, something I’d forgotten too. Amazing how many memories you just woke up! Ironic really, because I’ve just woken up here on Monday morning, though I have to say the last thing I feel is trapped. In fact if anything I feel the opposite, like so much is open to me now. It’s a good feeling. Have a brilliant week ahead. xo

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  38. How do you read my mind, Miriam? Your words are an absolute treat to read and such an inspiration. I feel tongue-tied whilst writing this comment 🙂 Such a beautiful post and what a great way to start my Monday. I wish you all the best for your online course. Your post reminds me that we should always look at what we’re doing. Be appreciative of the simple things. I think that’s the hardest part in life. Thanks for this post. I truly mean it! And here’s wishing you a very happy birthday, my dear friend! I’m sending some sunshine from here. xo

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    1. Aw Cheryl, you should never feel tongue tied with me. I so appreciate your comments and the fact that you can relate so strongly with this post. We are very similar in many ways I feel. Sending you big hugs from the hairdressers chair here, haha. How’s that for appreciating the simple things, a new hair cut and color for my birthday. Lots of love my friend. xo 🙂

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  40. Hello Miriam,
    I’m so happy to see you have found something you feel excited about pursuing. I agree that sometimes we need the quiet and dark to see the light more clearly.
    It’s great your meditating has helped.
    A lovely post.
    Wishing you well with your course. It sounds very interesting.
    Hugs from me 🙋🏻💕💐

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    1. Thanks Di, lovely to hear from you as always. Yes, I must admit I’m excited at moving ahead and the meditation daily is definitely helping. 🙂 Speaking of moving it looks like you’ve settled in nicely in London. Good for you my friend. I knew you would embrace it with open arms. Big hugs and keep enjoying. xo 💕🌷

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      1. Thank you my friend and you are very welcome…
        Yes, I can sense a new beginning for you. I’m really happy for you. I’d love to learn more about your course as time goes on.
        Thank you for your kind thoughts too about London. I appreciate them.
        Big hugs too and here’s to a new start to life 💐🙋🏻💕

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  41. Beautiful thoughts Miriam.. I think most of us have those dark shadows that at times lurk in dark corners of our mind.. Learning to banish them, and bring them out into the Light is important.. As we put things into perspective..
    Living in the NOW so important..
    Yet so often we drift back in time and our minds churn over past events.. and we worry constantly over things yet to happen.. When the only moment me live.. Is in the Now..
    And I loved reading The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. He really has things in perspective..
    Loved those photos Miriam.. 🙂

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  42. I love this Miriam, your list is just wonderful – I particularly like the idea of a ‘love list’ 💗 I’m so happy you are on the right path, navigating life’s dark moments with an open heart and soul 🙏🏻 wishing you a joyous journey as you embark on this new and exciting chapter in your life! Your marketing course sounds great 🌈💗🦋 xx

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    1. Thank you so much my lovely friend. I’m definitely trying to stay focused, I’ve had a few dark moments where I’ve slipped but generally things feel good. Lots to learn and read about for the marketing course but slow and steady, little steps but all forward … Big hugs to you xo 💕

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      1. I’m glad you are feeling focussed and good again Miriam ☺️ I believe you will absorb so much and apply your learning in wonderful and creative ways 💕🌷 slow and steady wins the race, I certainly am learning that myself: progress and persistence pays off 🙏🏻 enjoy the journey sweet lady 💫 xx

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        1. You’re so right, slow and steady Hayley, that’s me, like a tortoise, he he,but I’m determined, like you are this October. Go us hey? The journey might not be all smooth sailing but I love the fact that we’re both going for it. xo 💖🌹

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        2. I resounding yes! to embarking on our (slow yet steady) race! We will succeed in all we put our hearts and souls into, of that I am sure 🙂 sending love and hugs your way Miriam ❤ xx

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    1. Hi, I’m sorry to hear you feel lost. I popped over to your blog and left a couple of comments. Glad this post gave you some hope. There’s always light ahead, never forget that.

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  44. This made me feel calm. I was searching for something else and this showed up— and I call it God’s thing because I just prayed to become less anxious about 5 minutes ago.

    You might think I’m a creep or a spammer but honestly, this spoke to me. I connected with it. I do get nightmares, haven’t spoken about it to anyone but yes, only my mother knows.

    Thank you for writing this.

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    1. Hi. I wouldn’t think any of those things of you and I’m so glad this spoke to you. It sounds as though you needed to find it and to read it. I’m happy if it was able to make you feel calm.
      I know all about nightmares, they’re not pleasant yet sometimes they’re a way of our subconscious sifting through life’s challenges. Take care.

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