Out an' About

It’s nearly winter in Melbourne but today, on the second day of May, I got an overwhelming urge to spring clean. 

I felt something calling me to clear out clutter, to open up the windows (even though it’s cold outside) and let in the breeze.

There seem to be signs of change  all around me.

The clock that’s hung in our kitchen for 15 years, that our daughter crafted at kinder when she was three, has finally been taken down and relegated to the garage.

 It was such an imperfect clock with childish numbers misaligned and it was never easy to tell the time. I loved it.

To me it seemed somehow symbolic of the fact that time doesn’t really matter. Yet suddenly, as the years fly by, I realise it does.

It matters if we’re to make the most of what we have in our lives today.

I culled through an old cane basket, filled with old cards and paperwork. Travel papers relating to our Maldavian honeymoon were discarded, after nearly 25 years.

Old birthday cards were re-read and tossed, it was nice to reminisce and feel nostalgic but ultimately it’s what’s happening today that matters.

All the while I was listening to Ed Sheeran, feeling emotional and misty eyed.

So much is changing in my world.

Some days I feel as though I’m simply riding with the tide, not knowing which way it’s taking me. But maybe that’s the best way. There’s no point in fighting against it.

“Take me where you want. I’ll enjoy the ride.”

Then I went outside. I took my phone, snapping a few pictures of my garden, marvelling at the fact that everything has greened up so much, so quickly.

The grass is so long, the weeds are bigger than ever and I thought longingly for Lamby, my lawn mower extraordinare.

I picked some grass, as I do daily, to feed my daughter’s three guinea pigs. As I opened the door to their hutch I noticed Pandora lying flat and for a moment I thought she was asleep.

But she wasn’t. She was still, already starting to cool, her little furry body lifeless. She’d died, presumably during the night, I’m not sure of what, perhaps old age.

I cried. My daughter (now living away from home) loved her pigs, and so did I.

I know some might think she’s just a rodent, but it’s amazing how attached we get to our pets. To us she was a squeaky little fur ball with a personality all of her own.

 I buried Pandora this afternoon, in the side garden, close to the grass she loved.

Change. It’s all around us. I felt it today, felt it in my bones, sure as I changed the clock, culled the cards and then found pretty Pandy lying in peace.

It’s inevitable, it’s part of life and although we can’t control the forces, we can control our thoughts and emotions.

As May begins my wish is that, no matter what’s happening in our life, what struggles or internal battles we might be facing, that we can embrace whatever is before us.

Every thing that happens to us is a wake up call telling us to live life now. Not to look back, at least not for too long, or to put off things.

There’s no point in waiting. Pandy savoured the grass while it was green, it’s our turn to savour each day as it appears.

As I looked out this afternoon, amid the greyness, there were slithers of blue. Amid all the uncertainty of life that’s what I choose to focus on.

Yes, everything is changing but that’s the nature of the world.

As changeable as the clouds that passed overhead today.  One minute grey, the next silvery and fleeting moments of blue sky and dazzling sunshine.

May your clouds in May be lined with plenty of silver linings. 

Have a mindful and beautiful May.