I had a dream the other night that I left my bag on a tram. The doors slammed shut and I couldn’t get back on. As the tram trundled off I ran after it, frantic, knowing that my purse, my phone and identity had all gone with the tram. And I wouldn’t get it back.
I woke in a sweat, my heart hammering until I realised it had only been a dream. Though I couldn’t shake the feeling it was somewhat symbolic.
A few nights earlier I had an even worse dream that involved my daughter. I woke up crying. Its vividness is only now fading as I force it from my memory.
Lately my dreams seem to have an edge of the desperate in them. It’s been a long time since I’ve remembered them with such clarity and now suddenly they’re all in focus, vivid, as though forcing me to take notice.
Maybe they’re a reflection of the stresses in my head.
My worries seem to be consuming me lately, both for myself and for my 18yo daughter as she grapples to find her way in this world, after a few hard setbacks.
Both of us are searching, in our own way.
I encourage her to be positive, to be proactive, to work towards her goals and to stay focused on what she wants to achieve. I know this is all advice I need to take on board myself.
I feel as though my life is changing direction, into uncharted territory.
But I feel like I’m moving forward, ever so slowly. For two weeks while my husband has been interstate for work I’ve had time to myself. It’s been good for me, though I have to admit I was very happy to see him last Friday.
On Saturday we enjoyed a big night out at the Eltham Jazz Food and Wine Festival, where I let my hair down and lost myself in the rhythm and the music. It was liberating.
Maybe this is how I need to approach my life.
Letting go and dancing like no one is watching.
Loving like there’s no tomorrow. Because there are no guarantees in life.
Dreaming like anything is possible.
This morning I opened up my Gratitude Journal and the words I read for today gave me a tingle.
“Our waking and sleeping dreams can inspire us towards new goals in life or we can become victims to an ocean of illusion, left near drowning like a shipwrecked sailor in a swell of fantasy”.
I don’t want to be a shipwrecked sailor. I like the sound of “awakening to a new dream” so much more. And being captain of my own ship.
I need to shake off those shackles of uncertainty and free my mind. Let go of fears and imagine an exciting and fulfilling future so I can move forward.
It’s only then we allow room for the unexpected. And for new pathways to unfold.
As a new week begins I’m feeling a shift in my attitude.
From dreams that wake me up in sweat to glimpses of profound hope and gratitude, I feel as though February was an opening into the light and March is going to bring greater clarity.
And that’s what I wish for you too. As this month draws to a close and a new one begins may any fears you have start to dissolve.
Trust that whatever you’re going through is for a reason and that focusing and working through it will allow you to grow.
Open your heart and work towards bringing your dreams to reality. Stay open to the possibilities and believe that anything is possible.
Above all, keep dancing, focus on the light and hold on tight to those dreams.
Sharing for Paula’s Thursday Special: Focus