I woke up on the first day of this month feeling more positive than I have for a long time. Feeling a spark that’s eluded me for a while.
When I look back on the last year I realise I’ve had few goals and visions. I’ve been existing, coping, reacting, going with the flow with no clear direction and purpose. I realise it’s been about surviving.
As the year draws to a close I’m feeling a change, like there’s finally space for newness.
This year has been one of the hardest in my life and yet I feel, for the first time in a long while, like things are shifting.
It seemed appropriate as Frank’s Tuesday Photo theme this week was flow. That’s how I’ve been feeling.
Gong with the flow, sometimes not knowing which way the river is flowing, sometimes fighting it and not quite understanding what’s blocking me.
We all face challenges in our lives. Sometimes it feels like we can barely keep our head above water. Sometimes it feels as though the flow is too fast and we can’t keep up with it but I know that to keep going we have to go with the tide.
Easier said than done but sometimes we have no choice. We just have to hold on, grab on to anything and not let go.
It takes courage to take chances, risks, not knowing what’s around the corner, what obstacles we might face. Fear is our worst enemy. It’s been mine, I’ve said it before. I’ll admit it again but it’s suffocating and I’m tired of it.
I spent last Friday with my sister, driving to Sale, to our old home, in what felt like a Thelma and Louise road journey , revisiting our upbringing, talking about our memories and how the past two years have changed us.
About how we need to move on with our lives. To create a future that does justice to the legacy that mum left us.
Sometimes we can sit and ponder. Think too much, over analyse. That’s me.
But eventually I know I have to take a chance, dive in and live again.
And I’d like to think that even if I flounder it won’t be the end of the world.
Maybe I’ll even be able to laugh at myself and it will be smooth going again.
I feel as though this month is all about moving into flow and thinking about what’s coming next.
About reconnecting with our heart’s purpose and rediscovering ourself.
I hope that as December unfolds we can all feel that sense of possibility and that anything is possible.
May we all see all the positive things that are on the horizon, the hope that’s around the corner.
It’s there, all we have to do is believe it and embrace it.
May abundance, love, peace and good wine flow.
Happy December, my beautiful blogging friends.
In response to Frank’s Tuesday Photo Challenge: Flow