Kind Inspiration

Posted on by Miriam

Many of you will be familiar with the story of my mum.  I wrote about her in The Longest Goodbye and she was also the focus for my Daily Post Admiration theme.  When Niki asked who inspired us, in week six of the kindness challenge, I couldn’t think of anyone to put above her.

Mum has always been inspiring and brave.  She emigrated to Australia back in 1953 to start a new life with my father, and I know the early years were not easy, but they carved out a good life. And a happy one.

When mum went into hospital for brain surgery 15 months ago she remained the same as she’s always been, hopeful and optimistic.

But there are no guarantees in life.

When she came out of the operation and in the following weeks of rehab, ups and downs and then more surgery, not once did I hear her complain.  She never gave up hope that she would go back to her beloved home again.  Neither did we, but sadly it was not to be.

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My daughter holding mum’s hand last week

Today, as mum lives out her days in a care facility she’s fading before my eyes.  And I often wonder why she’s had to endure this. Why she’s had to suffer so much.  What lessons are there for me.  I question so much. And I feel different from the person I was a year ago.

I know that since mum’s illness my writing has changed.  Where once I wrote my travel articles purely for publication in Australian magazines my writing has morphed into something new.  When mum was well she often said to me “why don’t you write about something other than your trips?”  Well mum, now I do.

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On my early morning walk last week – being in nature is like therapy.

So, a while ago I read her The Longest Goodbye and my post on Admiration.  I read it slowly and I know she took it in.  I could see it in her eyes and the way she looked at me.  The way she nodded every time I finished a paragraph and asked her, “do you understand?”

I wanted her to know that my writing had evolved, that she was the reason for it, that she was still inspiring me.

She may not have a voice today but somehow I feel as though she’s helped me find mine.

I’m on my own inner journey of acceptance and finding purpose in my life.  I cry a lot. I  find joy when I can, with my family, at home and out camping because I know mum would want me to be happy.  But the heaviness in my heart is a weight that never leaves me.

Mum has inspired me all my life, by being a strong yet gentle, loving yet fiercely independent and generous woman.  Even today she continues to inspire me.

So last week, just as she lived selflessly and by being kind to others, I tried to follow in her footsteps.  I babysat my neighbor’s two young boys, I tried to be more patient with my own teenagers, I bit my tongue and held back my frustration when I didn’t get the help I needed at home.  It’s not always easy but I find joy when I can.  The journey continues.

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Flashback to my wedding day with mum

Next Thursday, mum will turn 88.  I’ll bake a cake and take it in, if the weather is nice I’ll take her to the park.  I’ll kiss her and show her the kindness she showed me my entire life.  And I’ll try and be half the role model to my own kids that she always was to me.

May you all be kind and loving to those around you.  Cherish the ones you love, give them a hug and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you.  We only have one chance at life so let’s appreciate it and make the most of very single precious moment.

Wishing you all a peaceful and kind week ahead.

This is in response to Week 6 – Kindness Challenge – Kind Inspiration

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105 thoughts on “Kind Inspiration”

  1. A hearty read Miriam, i really love the message you wrote along with this at the end. I pray the love between you and everyone else rises up to highest of limits where the word unconditional will need a new definition coming through your example. Stay blessed dear. Lots of love from Psychedelic Bay.

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  7. I’m so with you on this subject. Time is so fleeting, and we ignored the passing of it in our youth, only to be saddened by the truth of lost moments and regrets for things left undone. We have to let go these things and model the remainder of our lives after the people we most admire, the ones that had the greatest positive impact on us, then pass that along to others.

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  8. A thought provoking and inspiring post Miriam. There are many big questions and why’s in our lives that we do not understand at the time. I hope you find peace and strength for this part of your life journey. Blessings to you, your Mum and family.

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  9. Such a beautiful heartfelt post. I am sure it is just awful to see you mom fade away. But think of how truly lucky you are to have head her for 88 years! That is amazing! My brother in law lost his mom at the tender age of ten to cancer and then his dad to cancer a few years back. I always feel his sadness when he speaks of the loss. It is never easy especially to see their health deteriorate. My mom saw the same thing happen to both her parents too. It is tough. Hold on tight, love her and cherish all the years you’ve been blessed to have her Miriam. I think she will love the cake. 😌

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    1. Thanks Nicole and you’re so right. I do feel incredibly blessed to have had mum in my life for as long as I have. And I feel for those, like your brother-in-law, who lost their parents so early in life. So yes, I will love her and hold her while I still can. Thanks for your kind words Nicole. xo

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  13. I’m so sorry you are both going through this. For your writing to have gained from the experience is a testimony to both your Mum and her positive influence on you – and for yourself to be able to take some good from a very sad and difficult time. Warm hugs to you both x

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  15. I lost my dad just before my 28th birthday. He was only 69. I have gone through so many different emotions since then and I have wondered “why” more times than I can count. Days like today – Father’s Day where I live – are especially hard for me and I’m often teary for no apparent reason. I try to focus on my dad’s lessons because no one can take those away from me.

    I have changed my life since I lost him, so in that way he is still with me as my guiding compass. It doesn’t get easier as people say that it does, but I try to focus on living my life in a way that would make him proud rather than focusing on everything that I have lost. There are so many times that I’ve thought, “you should be here” and I know there will be so many more of those moments to come…such as when my kids are born. I know that I can’t change what happened so I try to accept it and learn from it.

    Thank you for sharing your story 🙂

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    1. I’m sorry for your loss and yes, I can imagine that celebration days like Fathers Day would be hard and bring the pain all back. But like you said, it’s all about the lessons and now trying to live your life the way he’d want you to. No doubt he’d be so proud. Accepting and learning and moving forward … it’s all we can do isn’t it? Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing. xo

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  16. God, Miriam, this truly blew me out of the water. Thank you for such a thoughtful, kind post. Your mum sounds like a wonderful woman, and the fact that she inspired your own finding your voice is a tremendous blessing. What a gift. Blessings to you and your entire family. ❤ Keep expressing YOU, Miriam!!

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    1. It is a gift she’s given me without even realising and it’s one I’ll always treasure. Thank you so much for your kind words Debbie. Hugs xox

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  18. I was very touched by your post. What a treasure that you can still communicate with each other despite everything, and maybe even on a much deeper level now than ever before. Life is taking weird, roundabout, painful ways to get us realize things. All the best to your mum, and to you!

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    1. You’re so right, life teaches us all sorts of lessons in often difficult and painful times and we generally have no choice but to roll with it and hopefully learn from it. Thank you for your kind words. xo

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  21. This made me cry Miriam. Very touching article. As I’m writing this comment, I can’t help but think about my father who suffered CKD (Chronic Kidney Disease) It is more than painful to see someone we love suffer. I admire you for always trying your best to look at things in a positive perspective and being strong for the sake of your loved ones. Cheers!

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    1. What a beautiful comment, which also made me tear up. I agree Amy, it’s hard to see those we love suffer and it’s hard to sometimes stay positive but I try. For the sake of those around me. Thank you for your kindness. xo

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  24. The love and admiration you have for your mother came through in every word of this post! I am so sorry for what you are all going through, and I admire the way you recognize how your mother’s love continues to guide you forward. A beautiful post about a very hard subject…. Hugs to you, Miriam!

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    1. Thanks Ann, it is a hard subject and I have to admit to crying through writing much of it but I find that writing also gives me a sense of release. I appreciate your very kind words. xo

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  25. This is a lovely tribute, Miriam. I am so glad you wrote this piece. ❤ I think everything that happens helps us find our voice, and I love how you put that above. Watching a parent deteriorate is extremely difficult, and a very tough subject to write about. Your voice needed to be found because it has touched so many lives. This is a beautiful post. ❤ Hugs.

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  26. This brought tears to my eyes, what a lovely, and loving, tribute to your mother. You are so blessed to have known that kind of mothering.

    It’s hard not having those reasons for suffering and hardships. It’s painful knowing we can only endure and try to come out on the other side somehow.

    Sometimes I try to think of those hardships as a kind of birth. Uncomfortable, painful, messy, long, hard, painful, and painful, but we come through it as a different person. We are changed, and usually for the better.

    Happy birthday to your mother – please give her my very best. ❤ xox *hugs*

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    1. As always your beautiful and heartfelt words have moved me. And made me tear up, but in a good way. Thank you so much Vanessa. You always see the positives and the good in a situation and I love that about you. 🙂
      Thank you for the birthday wishes my sweet friend. Hugs xox

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  29. Oh! I don’t even know what to say…
    It’s everything written in one beautiful post 🙂 It’s heart-wrenching, inspiring, sad.. all in one. I’m sorry for what you and your family are going through and I hope your mum has a beautiful 88th birthday surrounded by her family, warm sunshine and of course, cake 🙂 Please do wish her well from my side too. Sending you loads of hugs ❤ ❤

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  30. Reblogged this on Unmeasured Journeys and commented:
    Isn’t it interesting how life evolves? How we can sometimes have our sights set for one path, yet end up on a new road and we didn’t even see the exit?

    Seems to me, it’s on those journeys where we truly become enriched by life’s gifts that we might have missed if we’d stayed on the other path.

    Miriam is on a completely different road than she’d expected after her mum went in for surgery and came back changed. We have been following her posts, and when I saw this one, I wanted to share it as well because life is about embracing what we are given, even if we don’t quite understand it.

    Thank you for letting me share, Miri.

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  31. Such a moving post, Miriam. You and your mom are in the same situation as I was with mine. All you can do is show your love. I’m sure your cake baked with love, will really brighten up the birthday celebration. *hugs* to you and your mom.

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  32. Oh Miriam, I was almost in tears..This is such a beautiful and moving post. I have always looked up to you and will continue to do so. And it is so heartening to know that you are trying your best to be like the one person you treasure the most. To love someone is a great feeling and when they recognise our love its even more a wonderful feeling. I am so glad your mother could understand what you read to her. I can only imagine how she would have felt. Thursday is just one day away and I hope the celebrations go well 🙂 Wishing your dearest mother, the amazing woman a wonderful birthday. ❤ Hugs ❤

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    1. Thank you so much Minaxi for your beautiful and heartfelt words and good wishes, I appreciate it.
      I’ve just pulled mum’s cake out of the oven (it’s Thursday morning here now) and I’m hoping that I’ll be able to reach her on some level today. Whatever happens, I’ll be there for her, just as she was always there for me. Hugs to you and thanks for reading. xox

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      1. Wow. My comment reached at the right time I guess 🙂 She will certainly appreciate and cherish it Miriam. I am not so sure how much she might be able to show it physically but I am sure her heart will be bubbling with love and affection for you.Hugs and love 🙂

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        1. You were right Minaxi. On the day of mum’s birthday I did reach her, right into her heart. My sister rang me the day after we all got together and said that mum was the most alert she’d ever been and said she remembered seeing me. And that she loved the shawl I bought her. Little things that now mean so much.

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  33. Thank you so much for sharing this! What a wonderful role model indeed! You can tell what a special person she is and it’s amazing that even now she continues to inspire you in so many ways! ❤

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  35. This is a beautiful post Miriam and clearly shows how much your mum has inspired your life and how much you love her. My mum died a couple of years ago having lived with dementia for several years and although there was much sadness along the way, there were still lots of moments of joy too. Angels Blessings to you and your mum Miriam. xx

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    1. Oh Wendy, I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing that with me and for your kind words and wishes. You obviously understand a lot of what I’m going through. It’s certainly a hard time but all I can do is be there for her, just as she’s been for me my entire life. Hugs and thanks to you, my lovely new friend. xo

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      1. You’re very welcome Miriam – I would give you a big hug if I could so I’ll send you one instead… This is such a hard time for you and I do really understand that whole mix of emotions…love, guilt, sadness and happiness remembering the love shared… difficult days and my thoughts genuinely are with you my friend.. xxx

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  39. Pingback: Kind Inspiration — Out an’ About – Guinea Conakry Presidential Election 2020.

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