Keeping the home fires burning

Posted on by Miriam

Thoughts of you consume me

your touch electrifies sending me higher

the sparks intensify

until it ignites a blazing fire.

 

Passion and desire was aflame years ago when hubby and I met, an all-consuming fire that, over the years, has waned down to something resembling camp fire embers.

Even though the flames have subsided the spark has always remained and turned into something much more tangible – something that I’m hoping will last a lifetime.  The warmth of a fireplace and the sanctuary  of home.

Us in front of the camp fire

When you’ve been married for 23 years and together for more than half your life you get used to that person always being there.  Three days ago hubby left for another work trip, half way across the country for five days. I’ve had to adjust to lots of time apart as he travels in his new job.  So the fuel and attention to the fireplace is a bit low at the moment.

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I feel the gap when he’s not around – the way he walks in and scruffs up the dog before coming down the stairs for a hug and a beer, conversations over dinner and a glass or two of wine, the banter and laughter we enjoy, the way he cheers me up when I’m feeling down, even the way he comes up behind me and pinches my butt.

BUT I also have the bed to myself and can stay up late reading.  I don’t have his loud snoring in my ear and I get to eat more of my favorite dark Lindt chocolate.

Secrets to a long marriage

And I know it’s important, and healthy, to have time apart. To do our own thing.  I’ve spoken to a good friend on the phone, I’ve played my guitar, been out in the garden and pulled out weeds, I’ve taken my son to the library, done some writing and visited my mum. I’ve always been comfortable in my own company and feel at peace in myself.

BUT I’ll be glad when he’s home.  The house is a bit too quiet. Plus he makes the best Thai green curry and I miss his back rubs.  And his laughter, my best friend who I’m traveling this road of life with.

snoopy travel and love

May you always keep the wood in the fire, the love in your relationships and the home fires burning.

Wishing you all love and happiness on the journey, no matter where the roads lead you.

88 thoughts on “Keeping the home fires burning”

  1. Exactly! Hubby doesn’t travel, never really did for work, but we have friends that we do things with separately and together. We’ve been together a long time and you’re right, it’s more embers than flames, but it’s still good!

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  3. This is such a lovely post and I identify with it quite a lot. We have been together for a long time but we haven’t had a night apart since the night before our wedding. Except for the 3 nights I was in the hospital after my daughter was born. (With my son, our first, he stayed at the hospital the whole time with me, 2nd kid he couldn’t because we had the boy. 🙂 )

    John and I are best friends and although at times it feels like that’s all we are (embers not roaring fire, as you wrote), he still gets a goofy grin when I take off my bra. 😀

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    1. Goofy grin hey, you make me laugh. Your John sounds similar to my man. Isn’t it good to be able to laugh and muck around together amidst all the serious stuff in life. Not one night apart, that’s pretty impressive. Thanks for your great comment Sandra.

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        3. How awesome. My neighbors posted on FB about the most amazing flamenco musicians last night, it sounds like so much fun. Next year …

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  5. So very cool. My hubs and me celebrate 22 years this month on the 19th. We just had a supremely steamy weekend. An absolute, out-of -the-blue really hot trist. Never underestimate the embers, they can flame up in the most amazing places!

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  6. Embers don’t burn you, they just keep you warm. With a strong bed of embers, a small amount of fuel brings the flames right back.

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  7. Weird Guy With The Dog is an absolute poet. How does he do that? 🙂

    This is such a wonderful post. A friend of mine once told me, if couples can hold on and make it to the 20th year, then that marriage is destined to make it. Congratulations on 25 years. That’s really awesome.

    It’s funny when you’ve been together a long time, to think back all those years ago. When my husband and I started dating, he was 22. We’ve grown up together. Love that.

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    1. We were the same, both 22 when we met. I had just come back from Europe and wasn’t really looking for anyone, just enjoying life. And then he came into it. Lots of great memories together since then and hopefully many more to come, both for me and also for you. Thanks Jessica.

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  8. The way you described your hubby in the house is so heart warming 🙂 I hope he comes back soon ❤ My man and I had been dating for 4 years before marriage and living together for 3 years now, and when at home together if I am too involved in some activity he would come to me saying he is missing me and my sound even now and the same goes with me as well !! We cannot even think of staying apart and by God’s grace have not been in such a situation also in recent times. But having said that we have had our share of long distance relationship as well before marriage and boy it IS tough!!
    But 15-20 years ahead I really hope we have the same companionship and happiness you both have with each other ❤ It is so incredibly awesome. “May you always keep the wood in the fire, the love in your relationships and the home fires burning.” Loved this line totally 🙂

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  10. Oh my gosh! I loved this. Allan and I are 16 years apart. I’m the older one, LOL, just kidding. He’s 60 and I’m going to be 44 in July. He’s been retired from the transportation industry where he worked for 30 years. I’m not a gold digger which is what I think some women who see us together might assume, judging from the looks, LOL! Whatever, I just smile and raise my chin up and push my chest out (not a lot there) and pretend to be a peacock but, anyways, he’s retired. I work from home and he’s always home which is actually kind of a challenge sometimes. Well, he has been bored so he went and got a job. I miss him by about 130p. And sometimes by 11 30am when he used to come home from the gym. I travel only about 5 times a year for about 4 days, I’m real busy when I travel but he was sitting home alone and he was lonely. In July my meeting was in Chicago so we bought him a ticket so he could visit his sons and then my meeting got cancelled, which never happens and he went away while I stayed home. That was the longest 4 days of my life, it really kind of sucked. Anyways, I’D MUCH rather have him around than not but, it probably is good to have time apart. He has made several man friends now at work and I think it’s really good for him as he’s much more social than I am. That’s nice tour Mom lives by you and you can visit. I enjoyed your post!
    Candice~Marie

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    1. It’s funny how life works out, isn’t it Candice-Marie. Just when we think we have it all sorted and we’re in a routine things change and we have to adjust again. Hopefully you and Allan have it all worked out now with your respective jobs! I must admit I’m looking forward to seeing Doug tomorrow night. In the meantime, thanks for an insight into your life. Glad you enjoyed the post. Cheers!

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  11. My husband and I celebrate our 15th anniversary this year, but since it it a second marriage for both and we both had kids already, we arrived more quickly than most at the suddenly empty nest. And that’s when I found the embers stirred up quite a lot. More free time. More time to go out and do what we like. More adventures. More closeness. The longer we are together, the more I feel so tightly intertwined with him and convinced I couldn’t really untangle even if I wanted to. When he goes away, I always feel a bit lost.

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    1. I know what you mean. I’m finding that as the kids are getting older we suddenly have more opportunities to go out together, just the two of us, more adventures and time alone which all helps to keep the bond strong. Congrats to you on 15 years and here’s to many more!

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  12. This is a great post, Miriam. And a great reminder to cherish our beloveds. It can become so easy to take one another for granted because we’re so used to them.

    And what is it with husbands and butt pinching? LOL

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  13. The joke is fabulous :))
    I think that is beautiful when the fire still burns after 23 years. Looks like you’ve had a wonderful journey together.
    Have an amazing Sunday, Miriam!
    Hugs ❤

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  15. Lovely post. Absence makes the heart grow fonder I think.My husband has just started a FIFO arrangement interstate until the end of the year. So I’ve lost my trainer. We clocked up 28 last year the day we climbed to Kala Patthar. 🙂

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  18. I feel the same way when my husband is gone on a work trip. It’s nice to have things to myself for a bit, and not to have to explain to anyone why I’m eating nothing but guacamole for dinner, and I sleep better without his snoring. BUT after a day or two, I find myself really looking forward to his return, because life really is better when he’s around.

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  19. Mr travels for two weeks at a time sometimes and I’m alone with the kids. The first few days are fun, but then we all start missing him. It’s always great to have him back home. I know how you feel and it is great that your fire is still burning.

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  20. I have Ronnie Milsap playing in my head. That’s a good thing…i like him and it reminds me of my childhood. Hubby and I have only spent 5 nights apart since we moved in together half our lives ago. It was strange for me. I know couples that are apart every week due to work and my dad and step mom worked opposite shifts for most of their marriage. It works for some people.

    I didn’t like it at all. Although you make a good case for it in mentioning not having to listen to snoring! 😉

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  21. What a lovely tribute to your marriage. You and your husband are blessed! I’m glad that you can appreciate who you are without him, but I am warmed by your description of the bond you share. The little glow of your love sends sparks out all around you. It fills my heart with gladness. Thank you for sharing!

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  27. So, so true Miriam. We have been married 38 years and I am about to go on my very first completely alone holiday. It would be great if he wanted to do the things that I do, but then again, it’s great that he doesn’t. You’re never alone and it is so special to have and appreciate your own time.

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  30. Glad you’ve got him back home again. Not so much time for blogging now! 🙂 He looks a lovely man from your photos together. I always think I’ll be happier with the place to myself, but I seldom am. 🙂

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  33. Wow, Miriam, such passion. Though I am not surprised. Congrats on being able to establish new fires from those original flames. This is such a wonderful testament to love!!

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